LAZER FUZZ

Me: Uh, Matt. I think your new Lazer Fuzz is broken. It’s all glitchy and scree and squall and it’s got modem noise and the extremely bright indicator light is blinking at me all strange and stuff and it made my guitar sound like I’ve hired a team of elves to rapidly insert and remove the cord from the jack and it’s unpredictable and it completely destroys my guitar.